Saturday, May 2, 2009

My Son...My Pride...My Courage

As I sit here at Children's Hospital in Plano(incredible facility by the way) with Danielle and Austin, I find myself relieved and frustrated with our current situation.  First of all, my "Little Hercules" of a son is going to have to spend his 7th birthday in the hospital.  Although I remain relieved that it wasn't anything more serious, an abscess in his neck that developed because of a previous staph infection is nothing to overlook.  He will have to get IV Antibiotics for 48 hours before they will release him.  At his age he amazes me with the strength and courage that he continues to showcase without effort.  We did not catch the abscess earlier because of his amazing tolerance for pain.  This could be because of the numerous laser surgeries he had on his Port Wine Stain as a small child or just his nature, but either way his toughness worked against him this past week.  I am also a little frustrated with the man upstairs because I thought we had a little want what you want to me, but leave my kids and wife alone.  I feel that I have taken more than enough for the team.  I know, I know God doesn't work that way, but then sometimes My Faith asks "How does it work?".  My first thought when going through this incredibly difficult is was for Brenda and John to go through everything they did in losing Stephen.  They are my Heroes and have such a special place in my heart, along with Stephen, because I hate to admit, but I don't think I would have the strength to lose Lexi or Austin.  If God takes me from this Earth sooner than expected, it will be difficult for my family and friends.  But in losing one of my children, I would be lost forever and be afraid that I would not be able to find my way back.  
So Parents...for Brenda and well as all those parents who have had to suffer the unbearable loss or difficult chronic illness of such an innocent gift from God, please hug and kiss your kids and love them like it is their last to honor all those who have had to sacrifice so much.
Don't forget that God blessed and allowed you the joy of raising HIS don't take it for granted because you might not be able to forgive yourself.
My kids are my Greatest Source of Strength, but also my Biggest Weakness in how I react...

Proudest Father

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